Airhead Virgin

A “Hocus Pocus” Review
By Lian Lansang

It’s always a virgin that messes everything up, isn’t it? Some innocent, naive person always has to get sacrificed or do something to screw up the lives of everyone else in Normal-ville, and in the Kenny Ortega directed 1993 Disney movie “Hocus Pocus”, it’s Max Dennison (Omri Katz) who brings havoc to his town Salem, Massachusetts.

Yes, he’s trying to impress the girl of his dreams Allison (Vinessa Shaw), there’s debate on whether he really likes her or just her “yabos”, but there are so many other ways to do that that don’t involve lighting the Black Flame Candle on Halloween night and resurrecting the three witch sisters, Winifred (Bette Midler), Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker), and Mary Sanderson (Kathy Najimi), the town bases all their horror stories on. Those witches try to from the very beginning eat his little sister, Dani (Thora Birch) and then try to suck the life-force out of her. Good one, Max! He’s only lucky that he has Thackery Binx, the immortal talking cat, voiced by Jason Marsden: he voiced both cat and human version of Binx.

“Hocus Pocus”, though it is very well known and popular, isn’t without its faults. It has loads of special effects ─ floating books, the talking cat’s mouth, flying cleaning supplies ─ but those don’t really enhance the plot of the movie. It does, however, distract the viewer from plot holes. These inconsistencies are only really noticeable after watching the movie years later because if three witches from 1693 came back during the 20th century, how would Winnie have any clue what a driver’s permit is? It’s doubtful she had time to read that somewhere, considering she was tracking Dani down the entire night. Also, Sarah’s obsession with boys is fine, up until she sees Max and wants to “play with him.” He’s a child, Sarah…

Thing is, all of that doesn’t stop the movie from being entertaining, which is why it is pretty much a Halloween classic for those who grew up in the 90s. There are plenty of people who hate Hocus Pocus, but more often than not, you’ll find someone who is under the spell of the movie. Hocus Pocus is a comedy horror fantasy that doesn’t take itself too seriously and just has fun, which is why it is largely successful, even now, twenty-six years later.

Max says, “It’s three ancient hags versus the 20th century,” so there were many things the writers could play with, and they gave us just that. A great scene that captures the humor of the movie is when the Sanderson sisters lose their flying brooms to three little girls dressed exactly like them, and then they have to improvise with what is in the janitorial closet of their home that is now a museum. You fly that vacuum like nobody’s business, Mary!

What really wins the hearts of the audience, no, it’s not the cuteness between Max and Dani’s sibling dynamic, which is appreciated because I’m pretty sure those relationships only exist within the cinematic universe, and it’s not even the awesomeness of an immortal talking cat who gets crushed by a bus then re-inflates like a beachball, and no it’s not even Bette Midler’s amazing performance as Winifred Sanderson from the maniacal laughing, the strut, to the rendition of Jay Hawkins’ “I Put a Spell On You,” ─ it’s how ridiculous the film is.

The entire premise of the movie is based on the fact that a teenage boy lights a candle endowed with magic that turns black upon lighting and brings back three witches who spent their lives 300 years ago eating and sucking the life-force out of children. Then the witches chase down these kids because they stole their spellbook, but in the end even when the Sanderson sisters get their spellbook back, they still chase the kids down because Dani called Winnie ugly. When it comes down to it, Hocus Pocus is centered around the vanity of people. Max is trying to impress Allison by pretending he’s not scared of anything, and the Sanderson sisters are trying to be young and beautiful forever.

The movie does try very hard to be a story about the connection between siblings, brother and sister as it parallels the stories of Thackery and Emily Binx to Max and Dani. It begins with Thackery being unable to save Emily and therefore living forever with his guilt, then it circles to Max and Dani, whose relationship is tumultuous, but when it comes down to it, Max will do anything to save Dani ─ even drink some potion that looks a bit like engine coolant to make his life-force appear so Winnie has to take him instead of Dani. Thing is, though it’s easy to understand this is the route the story takes, the audience is too distracted by the craziness that ensues throughout the film.

Overall, Hocus Pocus is a fun film to watch if you’re looking to relax and eat candied apples and other sweets. It’s fun. It’s friendly. Family-friendly is debatable ─ not really, though ─ it’s only an issue for people who are part of a group like “Millions of Moms” because God forbid we explain why a virgin has to light the Black Flame Candle . . . speaking of that, why didn’t Allison want to light the candle? Maybe we wouldn’t have gotten a movie if she did. That would’ve been an easy fix.