An Excerpt from my thesis Congratulations, I’m a Boy!
One Wednesday, after Vince and I “picked up” Abshir from work around 9 p.m., we headed to the parking lot so we could go on our weekly Wednesday adventure. When we got to the parking lot at the front of the school, Abshir placed a water cup he had on the front steps. Vince and I looked at each other then at Abshir.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Abshir said to us.
“Dude, you can’t just leave your trash everywhere, especially at the place where we go to school and live,” I said, frowning.
“Someone will throw it away,” Abshir replied.
Vince sighed, “Yeah, you. You should throw it away.”
Abshir’s mouth dropped open like Vince and I both pulled out knives and stabbed him in the heart and back. “For real?” Abshir said.
“Yes, for real! It’s not like your arms are going to fall off if you throw it in the trash. I throw my trash away all the time and my arms are still intact,” I said.
Abshir groaned as he picked up his water cup. “Hold on, hold on, hold on,” Abshir said.
Vince grabbed my shoulder and said, “You never said what to hold onto.”
“I hate you,” Abshir said. “What I meant to say is, hold on, what if I throw this water cup as fast as I can at the trashcan?”
My eyes met Vince’s and we both grinned like little demons then cheered, “Yesssssss!”
Abshir ran about 15 feet away from the trash can, while Vince and I backed away. I pulled out my phone to record the throw.
As I had my phone in my hand recording, Vince stood next to me chanting, “Do it, do it, do it!”
Abshir hurled the water cup as fast and as hard as he could. The cup hit the trashcan and exploded, water flew everywhere as Vince and I jumped up down screaming, “YAY!”
Abshir threw his fists in the air like a victor then walked towards Vince and me. We just stared at him and he said, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You didn’t throw your cup away. It’s sitting on the ground. Pick it up,” I said and pointed to it.
His head dropped and he walked over to throw the cup away, defeated.
—
When we got to the sushi restaurant, we walked over to the bar area to the left where they had the nighttime happy hour. All the booths and most of the high-top tables were filled.
Vince rushed over to one booth, thinking that it was empty. He sat down but then immediately stood up, saying, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was sitting here.”
Because the restaurant was so dark and only slightly illuminated by small tea candles and red lights lined against the barback, none of us notice the blonde girl sitting at the very inside of the booth.
There was an empty high-top next to the booth, so Abshir and I went to sit there and avoid the awkwardness of almost sitting with a stranger. However, before we got to sit down, the blonde in the booth said to Vince, “That’s alright! You’re more than welcome to join me if you’d like!”
Vince, being the excited puppy he usually is, said, “Yeah!” He then looked to Abshir and me. “Come on, guys! It’ll be fun. New friends!”
Abshir and I both held tightly onto the edge of the high-top, feeling uneasy and unsure, but Vince sat down right next to the blonde, so we felt like we had no choice.
I slowly sat down on the edge of the booth seat, one butt cheek then the next, and slid down to the end, directly facing the blonde. Abshir followed my same exact slow movements into the booth. Once the two of us were situated, Vince said, “I’m Vince. That’s Abshir, and that’s Lian.”
“I’m Crystal,” she said with a smile.
I looked at her and pinched my lips together, forcing some kind of smile. Her eyes met mine and her smile turned into this creepy grin with all her teeth showing. “All my friends ditched me!” she said with her voice first starting high then going to low.
The moment she said that, Vince, Abshir, and I all pulled our phones out underneath the table.
Vincent
I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE
Me
YES YOU HAVE
Vincent
I’m SO SORRY
Me
Maybe she will leave soon
Abshir
I hate all of you
Vincent
Wanna go somewhere else
Me
Yes. let’s leave now
Abshir
I hate my skin for being here
Me
We are leaving. Stop talking abshir
Why are you still talking?
STOP TALKING
All the while we were typing this to each other, Crystal was telling us about her very, very bad day at school and how she was supposed to do happy hour with her “betches” (her words, not mine), but they all bailed on her. “Can you believe those bethces?”
Abshir would not stop talking so I punched him in the leg so that he would finally shut up. I fiddled with the menu and said, “Do you guys see anything? I don’t think I’m actually feeling any of this.”
Vince nodded and said, “Yeah, maybe we should go somewhere else.”
Abshir was about to talk but I interrupted him because I was not about to let him spend another 15 minutes rambling because that was what he did when he was nervous─ramble. I looked at Crystal then said, “It was very nice meeting you, but I think that we are going to head out.”
Crystal replied, “Yeah, go do your thing! I’m going to eat my spicy tuna roll!”
Vince, Abshir, and I then hurried off as fast as we could.
We walked around the area for a little, but we couldn’t find a place to eat. As we were about to cut our losses, we saw Crystal getting into a car and watched it drive off. Abshir, Vince, and I exchanged looks then we walked back into the sushi restaurant.
—
Vince began to slide down in the booth with his eyes rolling into the back of his head. “Vince, what’s happening?” I said.
Abshir went over to Vince and propped him. “Homie, you good? What’s happening?” Abshir asked.
“I don’t feel good,” Vince replied. “I think it was the spicy tuna roll.”
“I told you not to eat that!” Abshir yelled, pushing the plate away from him and Vince on the table. “Crystal cursed it. She cursed us!”
“As funny as I think that is, I don’t think she actually cursed us,” I said, shrugging.
“Nah, man. She totally cursed us. We ditched her and I don’t think she took that well,” Abshir said.
“Look, let’s just go home. Let’s help Vince up,” I said.
Abshir took hold of Vince, propping him up from the left, and I propped him up from the right and we headed back to my car. Abshir got into the backseat and then I helped Vince into the passenger seat.
As we were driving back, Vince looked semi-better, but he definitely looked like he was ready to vomit everywhere, so I drove as carefully as possible, but the road was dark and my headlights barely cut through the fog.
We were nearing school when Abshir leaned forward quickly, pointing to the road and screaming, “Watch out!”
That was then when I saw a tiny bunny running across the road. It was too late for me to do anything, because I couldn’t swerve since there was a car directly on my left and the sidewalk on the right, and I was afraid to brake because the last thing I needed was Vince vomit all over my car. So, I took my foot off the pedal and my car slowed down a little, but there was a thump thump sound and two little bumps then Abshir screamed, “I FELT THAT! I FELT THAT!” and he threw himself down in my backseat and kept screaming.
I began to cry then screamed, “I’M A MURDERER!”
Abshir and I had a duet of screams and when we finally stopped, Vince placed his hand on my shoulder and said, “Abhsir’s right. Crystal cursed us.”
Lian V Lansang 